The Fight Before Christmas
Nov 29, 2014 23:24:35 GMT
Metro:PRO™, Allyana Rivera, and 5 more like this
Post by Lava on Nov 29, 2014 23:24:35 GMT
THE FIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
VIA: Posted to Lava's Wordpress blog.
Twas the The Fight Before Christmas, when all thro' the fed,
Not a wrestler was stirring, it was like they were dead;
The kickpads were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that a shiny title belt soon would be there;
Teams Morty & Sunshine were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of suplexes danc'd in their heads,
And Flame Puppy in her Pokemon shirt, and I in my MMA cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap —
When out in the ring there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like 8-Ball,
I burst out of the locker room and ran down the hall.
The lights on the breast of the newly set-up ring,
Gave the luster of pay-per-view wonder to every damn thing;
When what to my wondering eyes should appear?
But a janitor named Jack, and Ian Wright bringing up the rear,
These two commentators, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment the calls would be SICK!
More rapid than eagles the high spots they came,
And they commentated and shouted, and call'd them by name:
"Fight Lava, Fight Smalls! That bodyslam was nice!
"Fight Taylor! Fight Shaws! Fight Cole, Hayes & Price!;
"To the top of the turnbuckle! To the very last fall!
"Now fight! Fight! Fight on you all!"
As the fans watched and looked to the skies,
They saw Driver & Levon take off and fly;
While on the mat with amazing technical skills,
Alexander, Lava & the Shaws went in for submission kills.
And then in a twinkling, at the Gorilla Position,
It was Goodman & Sunshine, for championships a'wishin'
And just then, as Liz Smalls turned around,
Jack Owyns hit her with a chair-shot, took her to the ground!
Nightshade was dress'd all gothic, from her head to her toes,
And so was Aleksander Sveen, 'cause that's how it goes;
Castello, Bellini and Kort came running from the back,
Along with Rivera, St. James and Vishnevsky to fill out the pack.
The fan's eyes, how they twinkled! Kodi Jackson is so hairy,
Mike Harrison was on the apron, trying to look scary;
Morgan Le Faye shot out of the ropes like a bow,
And she nailed Jason Stigma who had nowhere to go!
Lava kicked Smalls right in the teeth,
And Hayes smashed Cole in the face with a wreath.
The Shaws double teamed Kort, kicked him in the belly
The camera caught it all, aired it on the telly!
It was carnage in the ring, done up Metro style,
Kick lots of ass and throw bodies on the pile!
And though Goodman and Sunshine had fear on their faces,
They both knew this promotion was going to go places!
Suddenly Cameron spoke not a word, but went straight to the turnbuckle,
Tossing thumbtacks and wrapping barbed wire round his chest with a chuckle,
And laying his finger aside of his head
He dove into the chaos! Wright screamed "MY GOD! HE'S DEAD!".
But he sprung to his feet, his chest full of tacks,
And the fans all cheered as he & the rest headed to the back:
But Metro's athletes all turned before heading out of sight:
"Happy Christmas to all, it was a hell of a fight!"
