You're Welcome {MDE#1}

My next guest is a woman of...many talents. She is
a New York Times best-selling author-- her book "
Memoirs of a Metropolitan Mistress" has sold over
a million copies, and is currently being made into
a major motion picture starring Emmy Rossum and
Sean Penn. In addition, she's a professional wrestler,
a former Woman's Champion in the Internet Wrestling
Alliance, and is now wrestling for MetroPRO in New
York City. Please give it up for the Priscilla Price.

Well you sure know how
to make an entrance.

Maury, it is a twenty-four hour a
day, seven day a week job being the
most misunderstood woman in America.

You know, that's not the first time I've
heard you call yourself misunderstood;
but there is a group out there, they are
calling themselves SWAPPers-- Scorned Women
Against Priscilla Price-- who'd disagree
and say that there's no misunderstanding. 

Would you care to explain how
you feel you are misunderstood.

Maury, I bring couples together. I
do. What I do is remind neglectful
wives what they have. I've probably
saved more marriages and brought
passion into more lives than Dr. Phil.

I'm serious. Take this recent couple I've
been interacting with, Maury-- Kaiden Hawke
and Alice St. James. This Alice, she's got
anger issues, she's got a potty mouth, talking
about how she's gonna "knock [my] teeth down
[my] (beep) throat." And for what reason? Just
Because I was offering to train with her boyfriend.

You...offered to train with him? That's all?

That's right, Maury. I offered to
teach him my submission game. You
see, it's an area in which I
excel, and his submission attacks...

That bad, huh?

Well, don't get me wrong-- his submission
attacks are certainly better than his partner's
ground game. She's less than average when
compared with the rest of the promotion; if
you ask me, the girl needs to spend a little
more time on her back. Then again, if she did,
maybe her and Kaiden might not have so many problems.

So they have problems?

Oh, they did-- until I intervened-- and then
suddenly, it's "[Oh Kaiden], I just wanted to
stop by and tell you that I love you. I don't
tell you nearly enough, but I want you to know
that I really do" all over his social timeline.
I'm still waiting for my thank you from them. 

Now as it turns out you are facing this
newly impassioned couple  in a tag team
match this Sunday night. You're teaming
up with Angelina Bellini in a match with
title shot implications. After provoking
this couple, aren't you concerned ?

Concerned? Not at all. What is there to be concerned
about. After all, Alice is just "a rookie too," and
has "only been training for about 8 months. Just
finished, actually"-- her words, not mine. And when
you look at how we match up, it's clear she's out of
her league. I'm faster than her and hit much harder
than her. Her greatest advantage is meaningless in
this match-- she has superior take down technique
and my take down defense is weak-- but that's because
I don't mind fighting off my back. When I'm on my
back, I'm in my element, and the moment we go to the
ground, I'm gonna have my legs wrapped around her
head quicker than I would have had them around
Kaiden had he taken me up on my offer. 

But what about Kaiden?

Kaiden's even less of a threat than Alice. He's
slower, has no technique, and his submission
defense is just begging for the Price Vice.

Well we wish you the best of luck--

Boos from the crowd.

Any last words for your
opponents next week?

I applaud your efforts as a couple.
Clearly you'd suck at cheating-- you're 
just not sneaky enough-- and that's an
admirable trait, in some arenas. But
at the Jacob Javits Center next Sunday
night, you are going to learn that at times,
a being a little sneaky can go a long way.